The Blue Lotus

So I was suddenly inspired to return to this blog after 8 months of absence. I had other, more pressing issues to think about over those long months. But I'm back at school now, and one week into classes. I'm working pretty hard this semester (although I am still having trouble taking a lot of work seriously) and it's very important that I do well.
I've cut down on the partying and pared down my extracurriculars to essentially nothing while I get my feet beneath me and figure things out.

Today was a beautiful sunny day and I took the opportunity to set up my hammock (finally). I had to settle for two trees next to Morrow and in plain view of Val, but it was still amazingly relaxing. I had just settled into my work when Jesse showed up and we got into a conversation about Buddhism. I have only had one session of the class thus far and have read 34 pages of one of the course books and already Buddhism is blowing my mind. I have never encountered this way of thought before. It's almost unclassifiable as a religion and more like a life. I have never puzzled over something so clear and so complex before. Fuck. Maybe I will be a Buddhist.

We came up with a little analogy for Amherst the other night. We are a black cat sitting on the knee of an old man in a fancy waistcoat who is seated on a ratty armchair in front of a fire in a dimly lit, sinister-looking room. He is stroking us on the back in a seemingly harmless manner. But the poor lighting makes it hard to notice the metal clamp he is holding around our neck. We are so hypnotized by the soft touch of his hand that we fail to even think about the clamp. But suddenly an itch jolts us out of our stupor, and we realize that we are in a predicament.

I am trying to escape the clamp -- I think the first step is realization that such a thing exists. I need to do what I think will bring me success. Success is an arbitrary term -- I don't know what my success is yet, but when it happens, I know I will know. It will be like reaching nirvana in a sense -- I will be the lotus flower that has risen above the surface of the water and is blooming in perfection.

But you know what?

Life is fucking good right now. I am happy where I am and things couldn't be much better.