Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Get It

So I have a dictation in Chinese this morning. It's not really big enough to be called a quiz, and we have an official quiz on Friday, so my professor isn't calling it a quiz - but I know it's a quiz. I had to study for it last night, with flash cards, and that definitely categorizes it as a quiz. I don't think it's going to be too hard. But it's an important moment for me in that it's my first quiz of this semester, and I think how I do will give me a good idea of things I am doing right thus far and things I need to fix. I'd like to say I have good study habits. But I am pretty sure I spend too much time watching movies and not enough time focused completely on my schoolwork.
The world says that's wrong. The world says I need to study harder so I can do well in school and go out and make piles of money. But I am doing what I like to do, what makes me happy. And if a movie makes me happier than studying for five straight hours, I'm going to go for it.

I'm going for a run this afternoon. I have been eating really well - I mean really well. Lots of fruits and vegetables, good balanced meals, normally-sized servings. But I haven't had the time to go to ultimate practice, and therefore have gotten next to no exercise. I'm losing muscle tone as we speak. So I think I'm going to go for a run after classes, do a bit of studying, go to the gym around 8, and then come back at 9 and hit the books until 12. I am realizing I'm probably going to have to settle for 7 hours of sleep on most school nights, sometimes less. But that's fine. Get it.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Blue Lotus

So I was suddenly inspired to return to this blog after 8 months of absence. I had other, more pressing issues to think about over those long months. But I'm back at school now, and one week into classes. I'm working pretty hard this semester (although I am still having trouble taking a lot of work seriously) and it's very important that I do well.
I've cut down on the partying and pared down my extracurriculars to essentially nothing while I get my feet beneath me and figure things out.

Today was a beautiful sunny day and I took the opportunity to set up my hammock (finally). I had to settle for two trees next to Morrow and in plain view of Val, but it was still amazingly relaxing. I had just settled into my work when Jesse showed up and we got into a conversation about Buddhism. I have only had one session of the class thus far and have read 34 pages of one of the course books and already Buddhism is blowing my mind. I have never encountered this way of thought before. It's almost unclassifiable as a religion and more like a life. I have never puzzled over something so clear and so complex before. Fuck. Maybe I will be a Buddhist.

We came up with a little analogy for Amherst the other night. We are a black cat sitting on the knee of an old man in a fancy waistcoat who is seated on a ratty armchair in front of a fire in a dimly lit, sinister-looking room. He is stroking us on the back in a seemingly harmless manner. But the poor lighting makes it hard to notice the metal clamp he is holding around our neck. We are so hypnotized by the soft touch of his hand that we fail to even think about the clamp. But suddenly an itch jolts us out of our stupor, and we realize that we are in a predicament.

I am trying to escape the clamp -- I think the first step is realization that such a thing exists. I need to do what I think will bring me success. Success is an arbitrary term -- I don't know what my success is yet, but when it happens, I know I will know. It will be like reaching nirvana in a sense -- I will be the lotus flower that has risen above the surface of the water and is blooming in perfection.

But you know what?

Life is fucking good right now. I am happy where I am and things couldn't be much better.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

If Dogs Run Free

I have made the spur-of-the-moment decision to title all future posts with the title of whatever song I happen to be listening to at the moment. Whoever can name the artist wins nothing, really, except for my respect. Unless you already have it. Then you should just be proud that you knew the answer.
On the subject of knowing things, I think I will have a much better semester this go-round. I have made a few simple goals that I hope I can keep, and the purpose of these goals is to help me satisfy a larger and more difficult goal-straight A's. Everyone says grades don't matter, but they do to me, if only as a mark of my own hard work. Anyway, to make this happen, I have decided to sit at the front or as near to the front as possible in all of my classes, do all the reading, attend every class, go to office hours, and do other things that a generally responsible student does. I need to do this for myself-prove to myself that I can be responsible on my own. Because in the first semester, I clearly had some trouble.
First Saturday of the semester, amazing in that it is already here. I can't imagine how all the seniors are feeling right now, although I know I hope I feel the same way in four years. We went to see a movie today at the small theater (a word I constantly misspell with an r, like thearter) in town and had a great time. I had been expecting a small hole in the wall that had been around for years, but was pleasantly surprised. It was a cozy little place with all sorts of modern accoutrements and three great screens. They were big enough to provide the theater experience without being overwhelming. We saw The Wrestler, unintentionally (we had planned on seeing Revolutionary Road, which will have to wait until next weekend), but I think I can speak for both of us when I say it was excellent. I cried somewhat, which definitely says something for the quality of the movie. I tend to be an emotionless brick, so if I cry, it means something meaningful has happened.
That's all for now - hopefully you will get something a little less self-centered and deeper tomorrow morning. Oh, by the way, I think I am going to get a ferret. I don't care if some people hate them, I think they are amazing.

H

Monday, January 5, 2009

Movie Review: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

My expectations: HIGH.

Story: For the most part, excellent. Despite the fact that Benjamin Button is a three-hour movie, one barely notices the length. In fact, the story almost couldn't be told in a shorter time. Benjamin meets so many people, goes through so many adventures, that even a three-hour film only covers the bare bones of many of these. Unfortunately, this means that many characters are only developed in certain facets. Benjamin is the only one we get to know truly, and even then, we feel like there are pieces missing. Daisy, played wonderfully by Cate Blanchett, is only a cursory mention every now and then until the last hour of the film, unless one realizes that she is also dying in a hospital bed in modern times. But Benjamin experiences so many things - the open ocean, foreign countries, war, all manners of people - that one finds oneself wondering what happens next, rather than focusing on what is happening at the time.

Content: Dark and sad, for the most part. Interspersed are moments of humor, but one cannot shrug off the feeling of inevitable hopelessness that Benjamin goes through as he gradually realizes that he will not be able to become attached to anyone he meets. Expect to come out of this film feeling seriously depressed. But you should, because that means the message got through.

Acting: Cate Blanchett, once again, deserves an award for her performance. Somehow she is able to disappear within Daisy, and delivers a stunning performance over the course of 70 years of her character's life. Brad Pitt is not his best, but he is as good as ever, and adds to his repitoire of emotions and expressions. Benjamin is a very difficult character to play, and Pitt captures him very well.

Cinematography: Decent, somewhat overdone at points, but good enough. A relatively simple movie to create, but certain scenes are done well. The ocean scenes, especially, are beautiful, as is the general New Orleans area.

Story: A-
Acting: A+
Will you cry? Very likely.
Overall: A

Go see it. That's all I can really say. I think it's worth it to see on the big screen, because once you see it once, you don't really need to see it again. It is the desire to know what happens to Benjamin that keeps you riveted, and once you know the movie, it would be tough to watch it again. I know I won't watch it for a while. But it is worth all your money the first time through.

DMT



I recently happened across a bottle of oxycodone. How? I won't say. But after watching a certain person-to-remain-nameless experiment with these pills, and spending an hour with him looking on Yahoo Answers to try to find out how much oxycodone it took to overdose, I decided that I would avoid medication like this. It scares the shit out of me. If I ever break a bone (never have) and need to take pain medication, I think I will just use the age-old method of biting down on a stick and screaming for a while. Something about oxy, vicodin, percaset, and morphine just seems very frightening to me - maybe the fact that they are all forms of synthsized heroin?

Anyway, that got me thinking about addictions. Because they do happen, no matter what people say. I should know - I am battling a few right now. And the thing is, one can be addicted to anything - its often assumed to be drugs or alcohol or porn or other things generally viewed as taboo, but one can be addicted to a person or a place or a thing as well. I recently quit smoking for the first and hopefully the last time. I actually quit smoking marijuana for the most part as well, but that was a while ago. Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly at all, marijuana was easy to quit. Cloves are another story altogether. I find my brain running back to them constantly, and it is incredibly hard to think of other things at times. I have two open (mostly finished) packs on my shelf, and I can't throw them away. I plan on it every time I leave the room, but as soon as I see them, I just can't get rid of them. It's a very strange feeling for me.

All this rambling made me think about DMT. Such a weird substance. Machine elves? I don't really understand it, but at the same time, I think I do. Apparently, DMT is a naturally secreted substance in our brains that is responsible for dreams. Now, all my information is coming straight from Wikipedia, but wouldn't it be logical to assume that people with more vivid imaginations have brains that secrete more DMT? I would love to meet these machine elves someday. DMT users make it sound like such a unique experience, but if all it takes is a dream, then I don't see what the big deal is. Maybe "machine elves" is just a way DMT users describe their experiences because they can't remember them. Maybe all DMT users are experiencing is a sleepless dream. What I find most interesting is that your brain secretes a huge amount of the chemical when you die. So you do enter a permanent dream world when you die?

I suddenly understand why Heaven and Hell exist. They are a total human construction, but they do exist. But everyone has a different Heaven or Hell. These places are the construct of our deathbed DMT secretions. Of course a bad person would have nightmares, bad dreams - a result of a guilty conscience, or simply a rotten mind. And a happy person would have nice dreams. Therefore, I believe, starting now, that Heaven and Hell do exist, but as different places in each and every one of our minds. And one or the other will be accessed only when we die.

Perhaps our knowledge (if you can call it that) of these places comes from those who are able to achieve enlightenment, or trance, or have visions. I believe that each of these experiences is simply a more vivid dream, and therefore DMT must play a role. So perhaps some of us have truly visited a Heaven or Hell, not necessarily the Heaven or Hell of their deaths, but a Heaven or Hell of that time in their lives. So their may be some fact in this after all.

I constantly find myself reevaluating myself spiritually because I have thoughts like these. I am not sure what I am - not an atheist or an agnostic, but I don't think I fit a single religion either. I want to think about this problem, though, so expect more on my beliefs later.

This Blog is...

...NOT simply an outpost for me to rant and rave about the goings on in baseball. But I will, a lot of the time.
...a place for me to just write the strange things that come into my head. They can be very strange, I warn you.
...and anything you want it to be.

Holiday-End Musings

So the Devil Rays signed Pat Burrell over from the Phillies today. I think that wasn't the best idea, but it could pan out. Personally, I am a fan of young players who show promise. I think when teams sign players like Burrell, it shows that they are not one hundred percent confident in the prowess and poise of their younger players. And Burrell wasn't even the best bat on the market. He has never hit over .282 and is guaranteed to strike out at least 150 times. As most young players, especially those on the Devil Rays (or so it seemed at times), tend to want to swing for the fences and have little patience, Burrell was not a good pick. The Rays did need a right-handed big bat, and Burrell will hit 20-30 home runs in an average season, but a much better acquisition would have been Bobby Abreu. The Yankees were idiots to let him go, and he will make a team very happy this coming season. He is undersung, but he is a great player to protect a number four (even perhaps a number three or five) hitter because he sees a ton of pitches, makes good contact, and is good for 160 hits and a good number of walks each season. He is only a few years older than Burrell, and has postseason experience (although not Burrell's WS ring from last year). Abreu will last for years as a DH, and is very similar to Bernie Williams at the same point in his career. Bernie only got better (at least until he was in his later 30s), and provided a spark of experience whenever it was needed.

Prediction: Burrell will not disappoint, but the Rays will regret his signing when they look at Abreu's team next year.

On a better note, the Cubs actually did something right and look like they are wrapping up a deal with Milton Bradley. Bradley is one of the better players in the majors, and is definitely the most hated. He plays with intensity, kind of a Paul O'Neill type, but players, coaches, umpires, and fans often react badly to this type of player. But look at what he did for Texas last year. Finally, a team gives him some room, backs off, and he opens up - if I am correct, he was the AL leader in OBP last year and batted .321 with 22 homers. The Cubs couldn't have found a better middle of the lineup bat. This is going to go largely unremarked-on, but look for Bradley to do for the Cubs what Xavier Nady did for the Yankees last year. And maybe with a little fire, the Cubs will learn to finish, finally.

Prediction: Look out, here come the Cubs. Alfonso Soriano, Derrick Lee, and Aramis Ramirez will love a fourth bat to help round out the lineup. Geovany Soto (C) is also a solid player, and if Kosuke Fukudome can hit like he hit in the first half, the Cubs should batter opponents. That is, if Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, and Harden repeat last season's performance.

Okay, on to the Yankees. I have to give them something - my favorite team, you know.Cashman, in a recent news conference, stressed the Yankees desire for pitching and defense. I think they are all set, for the most part, and can afford (ha. what can't they afford?) to sit back and watch as other teams scramble to set up deals.Here's what I see as a potential lineup for next season:

Johnny Damon (LF)...yeah, he has bum knees. But it's still the offseason, and he is Johnny Damon. Take the first month as a test, and if he can still pull it off, fine. If not, he can platoon in the outfield, rotating with Melky Cabrera and Brett Gardner (who I think is too young and inexperienced to start full-time just yet)

Derek Jeter (SS)...also getting old, experiencing fading production, but he can still hit and do those little things that have made him worthy of the captaincy of the Yankees. He shouldn't be a problem.

Alex Rodriguez (3B)...people say A-Rod has a terrible year if he hits 45 homers instead of 50 and bats .295 instead of .300. He is a great player playing in the world's toughest sports city. I think he is doing a damn fine job. He's won 2 MVPs as a Yankee, for crying out loud. I think they finally have the supporting cast he needs to really shine. Look for an amazing season next year.

Mark Teixeira (1B)...what an acquisition. That's all I can say. Solid hitter, great (and I mean GREAT) defensive first baseman, and an all-around good guy and team player. Nobody in the league has anything but praise for Tex, and I think he will benefit from being behind A-Rod, and vice versa.

Jorge Posada (C)...he won't be able to catch 140 games, I don't think, but he has become a solid hit-for-average kind of guy. Had that great season a few years ago where he hit well over .300, and now he has to show that he can maintain that after coming from a tough injury. He won't be as solid behind the plate as Molina, but with our pitching this year, hopefully there won't be as many baserunners to worry about.

Xavier Nady (RF)...the Yankees' best steal last year. He is one of those players who does what he has to without being noticed too much. He reminds me of Paul O'Neill in that aspect (minus the temper) and a little bit of Bernie Williams. I think he has the capability to hit well over .300. Everyone noticed Jason Bay on the Sox last year, but with a full season to play, Nady will show that he has more talent.

Robinson Cano (2B)...he has had a rough season to contend with. This go-round will tell us if he is a good player, a soon-to-be great player, or a flash in the pan. Did the pitchers figure him out? Or was his timing off? We shall discover this soon enough. Apparently he has been working out with Kevin Long, so look for possible Robbie of two years ago. If he shows improvement, move him up. His OBP is low, but he could certainly bat higher if necessary.

Nick Swisher (DH)...somewhat of a dud. A remnant of the Oakland A's "Moneyball" years with Billy Beane. He never really panned out - a decent player, but nothing special. He will fill in for the outfield, and at 1B if necessary, so he is good to have around in that sense as the replacement for Wilson Betemit. Not a great hitter, though, and he strikes out a LOT. But he will hit 20 homers.

Melky Cabrera (CF)...wild card pick right here. Or perhaps one of them. Like Brett Gardner, I don't know if he is ready. His good performance a few years ago when the Yankees rushed him up surrounded him with hype that he will now have to live up to if he wants to succeed. I think that he will evolve into a Swisher type, with a better outfield arm. He is a streaky hitter, and still needs to learn the strike zone. But he is young, so maybe I am wrong, and he will improve.

The Yankees also have Hideki Matsui to throw into the outfield mess, but I don't quite know how they will use him. His knees are pretty beat up. But I think a Matsui/Damon/Gardner platoon will work. Damon and Matsui are subpar defensively, but they can still hit. Nady and Cabrera and Swisher can also play the outfield respectably, but I think Nady should be the only regular at this point. Spring training can help decide the rest.

Pitching:

C.C. Sabathia...a beast of a man. But will he hold up, and in the American League East? For what the Yankees are paying him, each loss will bring a host of criticism, but he is only human. Pitching for the Brewers in the National League Central is a bit of a statistics booster, and if you remember, he wasn't having the greatest season over in Cleveland. Back in the American League, don't expect what he did last year, but he should win at least 17 games and have a solid ERA of 3.25, but I would love to see 20 wins and a 2.82 ERA out of this guy. Should be a wrap for 200 IP, at least.

A.J. Burnett...I thought the Yankees should have gotten J.J. Putz and gone 3 for 3 on initials. But A.J. will do well, I think. The word on the street is that he is injury prone, but I think he has matured. He still throws 98, at least, but he has discovered a few other pitches and isn't afraid to use them. I think that is why he succeeded last year - hitters expected to see straight fastballs, and he messed with their heads a bit. I would expect similar production out of him, if he is coached well. His ERA was a little high last year (4.07) but respectable, and he WAS playing for Toronto. He is a big-game kind of guy, and shouldn't mind the Big Apple. Look for 15 wins, at least, and possibly a slightly higher ERA.

Chien-Ming Wang...he will take Mike Mussina's place in the rotation. Totally undersung as a pitcher, Wang has been stuck without a supporting cast ever since he joined the Yankees. He is healthy this year, and I would expect him to come back with 16 wins or so and a healthily low ERA. He won't intimidate, but that sinker of his is nasty, and Teixiera at first base to scoop those grounders should help him out. He served well as a number 1 starter, so look for him to step up if A.J. or C.C. goes down.

Joba Chamberlain...yes, I said it. He should start. But it might benefit him to be the number 5 instead of the number 4, so his innings and rest days can be more varied and open to change. But he pitched really solid last year, both as a starter and reliever. Don't expect 200 IP here, because the Yankees want to protect him at all costs, but he will produce. Unless something has changed, I am thinking an ERA around 2.95 and 12-14 wins as a starter. If he gets relegated to the bullpen because Hughes or Aceves does well, he will do even better. He might be nursing his shoulder at first, so watch for a slower start than expected. But be patient.

Hughes/Aceves/Kennedy/Pettitte...interesting case here. Hughes might be ready for another shot. He did really well when he was sent down last year. I think Aceves is a great middle reliever type and spot starter, but no more. He should stay in the pen, he was a boon there last year. Kennedy may not be a big league pitcher. He needs to toughen up his mind before he is truly ready. I think he is suffering from Melky syndrome, so just wait and see. He should start the season in long relief to warm up. I don't think Pettitte should come back, but if they get him, I suppose he would be the fifth starter. I think they need to move on, but that is just my opinion.

Bullpen:

Young, but should be solid. Brian Bruney, Damaso Marte, and Jonathan Albaladejo form a good team to set up for Mariano Rivera to close them out. They will have to be good, though, and don't expect many two-inning saves for Mo this year. Phil Coke was exceptional last year in middle relief, and Jose Veras and any younger starters can fill in there as well. I have no worries about the pen, and they should be in nice spots this year with the starting rotation looking as it is.

Alright. That's all for now. I think I am going to make these posts a habit, because it gets lonely without having anyone to talk baseball about down here. But they won't generally be this long. So don't get scared away.

Harrison